Small Words

Making one mistake doesn’t mean you can’t do something.

Sunday Reflection

I’ve been trying my best to do yoga every Sunday. Its helped me take some time to mediate and reflect on my week. A lot has happened since I’ve made more serious posts. I’ve gotten comfortable with the job I’ve had, I’ve learned a lot of new skills and I’ve been trying to work on my mental health.

I work a lot, and I’ve come to realize that hard work doesn’t always make us wealthily. Yes, I do get a paycheck, but am I passionate about what I do? Do I like that at times I’m working six days a week?

I’ve learned that doing a mind numbing job can help to pay the bills, but it doesn’t make my life as great as I would want it to be. I want to find something I’m passionate about, something that makes me want to get up every day.

I’ve found writing to be one of those things. However, I haven’t always been consistent and I realize that I have so much to work on. I’m currently reading a book on how to write better and I hope that it will help make my posts more meaningful. I’ve used this blog to rant, to write random topics and sometimes stuff that just doesn’t even make sense.

I want that to change.

Doing yoga has helped to clear my head and its lead me to work on my mental health. I’ve noticed a lot about my relationship with myself and others. I’ve worked at jobs that don’t hardly pay me anything because I think I deserve it. I work mind numbing jobs because I don’t think I’m smart enough to do any better. I’ve also hurt other people and sometimes I have a hard time forgiving myself for it. Sometimes I get mad at myself for things that shouldn’t even be a big deal.

My relationship with my parents has been tense at times. They helped me a lot financially, but sometimes they can be emotionally abusive. I never knew the term emotional abuse until I stumbled across it on a facebook post. I’ve found that many parents feel that as long as they didn’t leave a psychical scar on their kid they did a good  job. However, we have so many scars that are hidden inside us and sometimes they take years for us to get rid of them.

I don’t completely blame my family for all the bad things that have happened in my life. I’m an adult now, so from now on, I know that whatever happens is on me. Now that I’ve become more mature, I’ve finally had the guts to tell my family how I really feel. And luckily for me, it went a lot better than I expected.

Even so, I know this journey to improving myself will be rocky, but I hope that despite this, I’ll be a better person than I was before.