If your heart is drained with sorrow, bursting ones will fill you back up.
This is my life.
Not a story.
Not a dream.
Not a ploy to get attention.
This is for those who have been hurt this way.
For those who don’t make the call cause they feel they even if someone is taken to prison that person they still won’t fucking change.
We are not normal people, but people who have been broken.
People that don’t stop things for getting worse because the don’t care about themselves.
They don’t care about what people do to them and just because they allow it that doesn’t make it right for other people to take advantage of them.
Love isn’t setting expectations,
Or asking someone else to change.
It moving on if you don’t like what they’re doing.
Because usually they can’t be persuaded.
Its doing something for them,
without asking for something back.
Its getting to know them,
Without prying on their phones.
Its being okay,
If they ask to be alone.
Loving isn’t guilting somebody,
Into getting want you want.
Its making them a cup of tea,
And not getting mad if they want it or not.
Love is you caring about them,
And them caring about you.
I finally finished a three book series of a fictional story about wolves and how they came to be with humans. The book has definitely left some thought provoking questions in my mind. Such as why is there so much fear instilled in us? Is our fear of the unknown what has encouraged to kill so many things?
I think our ability to have a relationship with animals like we do with dogs is amazing. And I’ve always wondered how dogs came to look so different from their ancestors. Is all of it really just appeal? Has the way they evolved helped us to fear them less? While this book is fictional it still generates some interesting questions in my mind.
Watching Kaala and her pack grow has sometimes made my heart warm -but in some ways has also made it cold. With the start of it being Kaala trying to prove herself and TaLi, Kaala’s human, just fighting to have her opinion heard. When her family killed all of Kaala’s siblings I wanted her to just run away from them and not have to deal with all the crap she was being told. Despite that and many other struggles Kaala kept going -even after the end. And I’m glad Kaala and TaLi found each other because I don’t know if they’d be able to handle their lives on their own.
The second and third dove more into the humans and their relationships with other animals. In some parts I felt guilty, wolves and humans were coming together -but many prey and predators alike would be killed off as a result. I understand the fear, killing other animals before they try to kill you. However, now most of live lives where we don’t have to and yet it still continues to happen.
I don’t think I realized how easily fear can drive people. The antagonist in this book spread fear like he was giving out candy. He couldn’t have what he wanted so he decided to harm multiple people to get the rest of them to fear the people he wanted revenge on. However, I do think fear could be good -if the right person uses it. If Kaala had killed Davrian when she had the chance she probably could’ve technically kept the promise. Yes, she would’ve killed a human, but the promise was not to start a war between wolves and humans. If Kaala killed him she would’ve saved many lives, I wish she would’ve trusted her instincts and gone with it.
I liked how in this story there was a lot of discussion about the ‘wild.’ That people feared wolves because it made them see the wild in themselves. While streckwolves(dogs), gave up the ‘wild,’ so the humans didn’t fear them. While I think their evolution is more a matter of humans choosing who they mate with and changing their diets without really realizing it, it still raises a lot of question. My main questions being: what would are relationship with animals be like if we knew what we know now? What if we found a way to create animals that were actually evolved enough to the point where we could understand each other perfectly?
The most heart breaking part of the series was the end of it. Kaala died in an effort to communicate with her human so she could run away with the rest of her pack from the humans who were trying to kill them. It was sad knowing that once she warned her human that she would no longer be near her -at least not for a pretty long time. In some ways she reminded me of my old dog. A dog that despite his gentleness with me, would do whatever he could to protect me and my family. I feel like every once in a while remembering her death might make me miss him more. However, in some ways it doesn’t, it gives me hope wherever we are we’ll still love each other -even if we’re far apart.
Even though I did really like this series, it put me in a negative state quite often. There was a lot of bad things that happened to Kaala and having to watching her die at the end was just heartbreaking. After reading this series I felt empty, and I didn’t want to be alone because thinking about Kaala convinced me to be sad. Again, overall it was good and it helped me think of plenty thought provoking questions. However, all of the negative stuff was just too much for me.
If you’ve ever read this series what questions did it make you think of? How has this book changed your view of the human and canine relationship?
I spent most of my childhood listening to christian music and going to church. For a while a loved it, however, the longer I stayed the more I wanted to leave.
Prove yourself, if the small posts aren’t meaningful no one will read the long ones.
“I can’t believe you would lie to me like that!” Jennie’s curly black hair puffed out to the edges of her shoulders as she crossed her arms and glared at me.
I closed my locker and stuffed my binders in my back pack. “Lie to you about what?” I walked toward my next class and she followed.
“You being with Jayce last night.”
I turned to face her, I was just outside the door of my class room and I could see him waving at us. “What are you talking about? I was studying-”
“Studying my ass! I saw the photos of you kissing my boyfriend you slut, I can’t believe I was even friends with you!” The color drained from my face and my brown eyes widened at her tone. The chattered behind me had stopped and I could see Jennie’s glaze stab directly at Jayce’s before she stormed off to her next class.
Everyone watched as I took my seat in the back of the room next to Jayce. Then the teacher began her lecture and Jayce put a hand to his face and mouthed, ‘what was that about?’
“I don’t know.”
The illusion that we can have whatever we want,
By simply asking.
So many have wings,
Yet, not every flies.
Their wings cut by society,
So that they might not have the freedom they thought they would have,
By simply asking.
I used to think that being in America I would have the freedom to do what I want -but now I realize that’s not the case. For people that relay on their jobs to keep the bills paid not only is their less time for them to do what they want, but in some cases they are also censored. Women that want to go braless for health reasons sometimes can’t if they’re afraid their jobs won’t allow it. People can’t say what they really think for fear of being fired.
Now that I’ve found a 9 to 5 job, at first I thought this is it, this is where I want to be. However, after reviewing everything I’ve experienced I realized that it’s just not. I want the freedom to write whenever I please, run whenever its nice out, and spend time with my family without my job limiting my time with them. And now I’ve realized that freedom doesn’t come free -even if you live in America. People have made their own way, making passive income, learning how to earn money without really working.
Do I think it would be bad if everyone lived this way? No, in fact I think the more people that do it the more we can become even more independent and we’d have more freedom because there won’t be other people demanding that we do stuff for them. We’ve found ways that have made modern living even easier for us to do on our own than ever before. And if all of us managed to find a way to make passive income for us to take care of ourselves, I still don’t think all of us would quit our jobs. We would probably just work less.
If all of us found a way to take care of ourselves without really doing much there would still be plenty of time to ‘work’. I don’t think everyone is lazy and even when I have my lazy days if I’m lazy for too long I kind of get twitchy and end up wanting to do something.
I think having the freedom to get away from big companies and become on our boss might even help us find new ideas too. Most jobs from my experience end up being pretty repetitive and I think allowing ourselves the freedom to face new experiences can help us to think differently.
As I refine my idea of what freedom really is I’m beginning to get a stronger pull to do my own thing -and hopefully get benefits from that. And I’d feel guilty if I ended up doing this and realized that other people still haven’t caught on. Having a job was a constant pressure that my parents always lectured me about. I’ve found that just because someone is ‘jobless’ that does not mean they are an unproductive lazy person. In fact, I think people that are productive without a ‘job’ are even more motivated than people with jobs because they don’t have to have the constant pressure from other people to encourage them to continue working. They just do what they want to do without anyone telling them otherwise.
That I believe is true freedom, and I hope to get closer and closer to it as life goes on.
What do you define freedom as? Do you think it has to be earned or do you think we all have the right to it?
Just wanted to say I hope everyone has a nice Valentines Day and is able to share if someone special. If not, then I hope you treat yourself. 🙂